Thanks to the help of my friends, I’ve been selling most of what I have left, mostly video games and stuff, and have raised upwards of $200 so I can find a ride to Ohio. Friends really are the best family, when you pick ‘em right. Even the ones who have done “nothing” have provided for me so much support and other housing options, and I know they’d help me more if they could, so thanks all of you.
No really though, I don’t know how I actually have followers at this point. I have been working on a picture lately so it’s not like I”m not trying to update, but I have a lot going on in my life that I can’t even control, and that ends up being all I’m able to post.
Like tonight, for instance, how my mom said she’s not my mom anymore and kicked me out. I’m staying at a friend’s for the night, but I can’t like, live here. I’m trying desperately to find a way to the only other home I have right now, and all I have is $20 for gas, and my laptop.
I could be so much in life already, but my mom always wanted me to be an engineer, she wanted me to be what she wanted me to be, not what I was good at or passionate about, and it’s really fucked me over, because I’m still bad at drawing, still bad at piano, and drums, and guitar and bass, I suck a lot more at role playing, and coming up with inspiration and new ideas is impossible because I’m constantly surrounded by such pretentious, sexist garbage made human.
I honestly feel like I’ve been cheated out of life. Right now, everything feels hazy, like it’s all just a bad dream, and I really wish it were. I wish I’d wake up; be female, be a pony, be independent, be successful, be on the path to finding my purpose in life, if not already there.
[7:54:04 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: shit just got real over here
[7:54:06 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: lol
[7:54:09 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: I stood up to her
[7:54:21 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: while she had the phone out and was on it with my aunt
[7:54:22 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: so
[7:54:23 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: let’s see
[7:54:28 PM | Edited 7:54:32 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: she’ll side with my mom
[7:54:33 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: but
[7:54:36 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: she said it
[7:54:37 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: she said
[7:54:41 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: she doesn’t care about me
[7:54:47 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: rather
[7:54:58 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: “I don’t give a fuck HOW you feel”
One day, I hope to have a group of friends that doesn’t go from really close and friendly to them all hating me.
Truth be told, if I, in current times, had a very best friend, you would be it. No one is perfect, and I can easily see why some of my other friends would take offense to some of the things you say.
You (used to) complain about not having the newest LoL skins/champions that just came out, but problems are relative, and if those are the things that make you happy, whose right is it to impose their own problems on you? Most of the time when you insult someone harshly and don’t actually mean it, you sound pretty serious, and then I’m like “no, he doesn’t seriously think you should kill yourself” or whatever. You’re actually really understanding, though, and all I can think about is how you would always tl;dr everything somewhat long I would send your way, save for that extremely long post I sent you that you took the time to read for no other reason than you legitimately cared for my well-being, when everyone else was sick of me, or mad at me, or whatever. On top of that, you had already been having a really rough night.
You are, when and where it counts, one of the very most selfless people I’ve ever met, and you’ve only bettered as a person since we first met.
So even if the world turns its back on you, I refuse to, to the point where I have literally dismissed thoughts of suicide knowing that it would make you sincerely miserable to any extent, give up on you as a friend, and I know you actually respect and appreciate that.
I have a song I’ve fully composed in 8-bit, and I’m going to get a recording program so I can play it with actual instruments. Would anyone be interested if I posted such a thing? If not, I won’t put much priority on it.
Yep got my passion to ADC back tried Corki because of his ult change and TF because I felt like bring a classic ADC back
I love how I went 10/4/X both games. Truly a fun time. <3
Part of me is like “I really hope my friends don’t think any worse of me because of anything I draw,” and then there’s another part of me that’s just like “Oh boy, I can’t wait to see how many friends I can lose by being myself!”