Hoodie Draws

Raised some money

Tue, 14 May 2013 17:21:43 -0600

Thanks to the help of my friends, I’ve been selling most of what I have left, mostly video games and stuff, and have raised upwards of $200 so I can find a ride to Ohio. Friends really are the best family, when you pick ‘em right. Even the ones who have done “nothing” have provided for me so much support and other housing options, and I know they’d help me more if they could, so thanks all of you.

I have $20 for gas. Someone drive me to Ohio. :Y

Thu, 09 May 2013 00:57:25 -0600

No really though, I don’t know how I actually have followers at this point. I have been working on a picture lately so it’s not like I”m not trying to update, but I have a lot going on in my life that I can’t even control, and that ends up being all I’m able to post.

Like tonight, for instance, how my mom said she’s not my mom anymore and kicked me out. I’m staying at a friend’s for the night, but I can’t like, live here. I’m trying desperately to find a way to the only other home I have right now, and all I have is $20 for gas, and my laptop.

I could be so much in life already, but my mom always wanted me to be an engineer, she wanted me to be what she wanted me to be, not what I was good at or passionate about, and it’s really fucked me over, because I’m still bad at drawing, still bad at piano, and drums, and guitar and bass, I suck a lot more at role playing, and coming up with inspiration and new ideas is impossible because I’m constantly surrounded by such pretentious, sexist garbage made human.

I honestly feel like I’ve been cheated out of life. Right now, everything feels hazy, like it’s all just a bad dream, and I really wish it were. I wish I’d wake up; be female, be a pony, be independent, be successful, be on the path to finding my purpose in life, if not already there.

So you know how I've mentioned my abusive mom, right?

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 18:58:44 -0600

[7:54:04 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: shit just got real over here

[7:54:06 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: lol

[7:54:09 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: I stood up to her

[7:54:21 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: while she had the phone out and was on it with my aunt

[7:54:22 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: so

[7:54:23 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: let’s see

[7:54:28 PM | Edited 7:54:32 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: she’ll side with my mom

[7:54:33 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: but

[7:54:36 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: she said it

[7:54:37 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: she said

[7:54:41 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: she doesn’t care about me

[7:54:47 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: rather

[7:54:58 PM] Pinkitty Diane Bro: “I don’t give a fuck HOW you feel”

maelstromnexus: One day, I hope to have a group of friends that doesn’t go from really close and...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 11:16:09 -0600

maelstromnexus:

One day, I hope to have a group of friends that doesn’t go from really close and friendly to them all hating me.

[sappy]

Truth be told, if I, in current times, had a very best friend, you would be it. No one is perfect, and I can easily see why some of my other friends would take offense to some of the things you say.

You (used to) complain about not having the newest LoL skins/champions that just came out, but problems are relative, and if those are the things that make you happy, whose right is it to impose their own problems on you? Most of the time when you insult someone harshly and don’t actually mean it, you sound pretty serious, and then I’m like “no, he doesn’t seriously think you should kill yourself” or whatever. You’re actually really understanding, though, and all I can think about is how you would always tl;dr everything somewhat long I would send your way, save for that extremely long post I sent you that you took the time to read for no other reason than you legitimately cared for my well-being, when everyone else was sick of me, or mad at me, or whatever. On top of that, you had already been having a really rough night.

You are, when and where it counts, one of the very most selfless people I’ve ever met, and you’ve only bettered as a person since we first met.

So even if the world turns its back on you, I refuse to, to the point where I have literally dismissed thoughts of suicide knowing that it would make you sincerely miserable to any extent, give up on you as a friend, and I know you actually respect and appreciate that.

[/sappy]

Anypony dig music?

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:21:21 -0600

I have a song I’ve fully composed in 8-bit, and I’m going to get a recording program so I can play it with actual instruments. Would anyone be interested if I posted such a thing? If not, I won’t put much priority on it.

WHY WON'T TUMBLR LET ME REBLOG ANYTHING?!

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 01:37:45 -0600

TUMBLR, I’M GETTING TIRED OF THIS. GIBE ME MONY PLIASE.

missvisaloser: Yep got my passion to ADC back tried Corki...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:08:33 -0600

missvisaloser:

Yep got my passion to ADC back tried Corki because of his ult change and TF because I felt like bring a classic ADC back

I love how I went 10/4/X both games. Truly a fun time. <3

I never want to draw more than when I am actually too busy to do so.

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 10:59:40 -0600

I never want to draw more than when I am actually too busy to do so.

Part of me is like “I really hope my friends don’t think any worse of me because of...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 03:09:06 -0600

Part of me is like “I really hope my friends don’t think any worse of me because of anything I draw,” and then there’s another part of me that’s just like “Oh boy, I can’t wait to see how many friends I can lose by being myself!”

SHRO YU ARE THE BEST OVERWORLD, LURV ANON :V

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 19:46:49 -0600

I have always dreamt of being the best overworld. :D

“Wishes” - Apocalyptic Dusk My real life friends...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 19:43:57 -0600

“Wishes” - Apocalyptic Dusk

My real life friends really picked a great time to find and follow my tumblr. Luckily for them, I only had the gall to make something softcore. That’s not a real cock, by the by (doubly so, I guess).

I tried something new with the eyelashes and the eye coloring, and I finally got to practice saliva in some way/shape/form! Also, I like this new hoodie I draw on Hoodie. It just screams Azkadent to me.

So this is actually called “Wishes” for a more personal reason. I was on the phone with a service that was helping me find a counselor to go and talk to because I hate the way my life is, and when I told them about all my problems, they said “It sounds a lot like you aren’t able to be yourself.” And I’d have to agree.

My real life friends/family/affiliates don’t know a damn thing about who I really am, and a lot of my online ones don’t either, but I’m not going to just hide it away from tumblr of all places, so here it is:

I hate being male. Hate it. I have hated it ever since I was only about eight years old. I also don’t like being human, nor do I even find them appealing in a physical sense. I won’t deny I have my problems, my issues, but it’s not unwarranted, and when it comes down to it, I don’t think it should matter how other people want me to be, especially when they make my life miserable by doing so.

So there you have it. I didn’t mean to rant or anything, and I don’t mean to be “in your face” about this at all, but to deny the way I feel would be a cruel lie, not just to my friends, but to myself. If you’re weirded out by it, that’s your deal, and I’ll let you have it to yourself.

stoneegg: [S] Enter. Reblog and click image to view Flash...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:51:23 -0600

stoneegg:

[S] Enter.

Reblog and click image to view Flash “Enter.”

>

So the maker of the Leaguestuck tumblr over here needed someone to make a short 8-bit loop for this flash, and I was honored to help out. I may have put a little too much effort into it but damn, no regrets. <3

adolphbartels: That’s totally a...

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 02:51:02 -0600

adolphbartels:

That’s totally a yes.

http://apocalypticdusk.tumblr.com/

I was saving my 100th post for my own picture but due to having to /Ramirezdoeverything it won’t be done for a long time. Also, I laughed too hard not to reblog this. Oh my god this is hysterical. Ending the night on a great note. Thanks~!

99/100

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 20:19:04 -0600

My next post will be my 100th post on this account, and I already know what the next picture is going to be.

I promised a group of friends a while ago that I would draw rule 34 of Hoodie. It’s half way done, so I’ll try and have it up whenever I can.

After that, though, I don’t know what to do. Not just with the tumblr, but with life. I don’t think I’ve ever been so avidly down and upset for such a long span of time before, and no one has been able to help me. I just want a therapist, one who cares, who will listen to me talk for like three hours and tell me something I haven’t already thought about or been told a million times already.

But I’m too poor for that sort of thing, and I’m never able to be on when my friends are, and most of them, despite how they are ALWAYS on, just seem to refuse to spend any time with me or talk to me, or even give a shit about me unless I message them first, practically begging for them to talk to me.

So after post 100, I don’t know what I have to go for. Sorry for the depressing post, but I am only mortal, and I have emotions, and I need to figure out some way to let them out without being so radical.

tl;dr: Well good, if you didn’t care enough about me to read something THIS SHORT then I don’t give a fuck about what you may have to say about it.

Wisdom is no mere virtue.

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 04:23:00 -0600

“I wasn’t always such a bitter pony, as you like to describe me. Once, I saw the value in friendship, and devoting yourself to another’s cause.

But the more I devoted myself, and the more I gave, the less I was wanted, or needed.

Only when I stood at the edge of a metaphorical cliff, one step from walking right over into the abyss below, did my friends even begin to realize that I was in desperate need of help. My mind was at its weakest, and they were finally there to fix it.

But this is the problem with wisdom, Failsafee. Try as they might to lift my spirits, to change my temporary perception at the time, they could not. For every point they made, I had an equally valid counter-point, and in front of me all their kindness and good intentions began to wither away, until they were just as in lament as I.

If you wish to become wise, do not wish to be happy amongst the ignorant.”

-Azkadent “Hoodie” Belmount

askdawnstar: Reblog and join this years tumblr pony prom!...

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 21:14:00 -0700

askdawnstar:

Reblog and join this years tumblr pony prom! Successor of the first ever to be held official pony prom from last year at the same time. Remember kids, all the others are fake, only we are the real deal!

((I sure hope this years pony prom will turn out better for DawnStar than last years.))

I tried literally 50 times to reblog this and it would not work, so I accidentally click reblog while trying to click off of it, and what do you know, it works.

Truth be told, I sort of wanted to go to this last year, but I wasn’t able. I’d love to go this time around, but I don’t know who’d want to take me, or who I’d want to ask…

“Catzkadent One More” - Hoodie No one is going to...

Sun, 03 Mar 2013 16:21:00 -0700

“Catzkadent One More” - Hoodie

No one is going to understand the deja vu, but to keep a very long story short, before the pony fandom existed, Azkadent’s predecessor was a semi-anthro cat named Azeros, which is where the “Az” in her name comes from.

I drew Hoodie so I could more easily relate the anatomy of these cats I’ve been drawing to that of the ponies I’ve been drawing and figure out how to draw them better. I would have finished this a few days ago but my eyes have been really blurry and in pain lately, and I slept a lot yesterday and slept in today to alleviate most of the pain. It worked, for the most part.

Only four more posts until post #100~!

OH MY GODDDDD NO SERIOUSLY GUYS STOP IT I CAN’T BREATHE

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 23:24:09 -0700

OH MY GODDDDD

NO SERIOUSLY GUYS STOP IT I CAN’T BREATHE

Oh my goooooodddddd

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 22:42:55 -0700

I checked my tumblr like an hour ago to see all those likes, and Starlight’s reblog saying she loved it, and ever since my heart has been trying to work its way out of my throat and I’m all squealy and aghhhhglkjdsajfdgkhfg

I started another picture earlier this evening, too, just to experiment a little, and then I’m going to try and do some awesome stuff for you guys!

I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP NO WAIT DON’T IT FEELS SO GOOD~<333

You know what'd be cool?

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 07:29:10 -0700

If for my 100th post, I did something so awesome that I could finally break my record of 43 followers at any given time.

But what to do? What would be so awesome that random people would go “omg this ponizzle sort of made my jimmies unrustle after a long day of drama”?